Choice Publishing Book Store
I decided to call this book Truth Serum as it has only ever been about getting to and revealing the truth. It has been my sole ambition to find a way back to my childhood and try to understand why things happened as they did. What I have confronted will rock the foundations of the house and family in which I grew up - as, indeed, it should.
Now the secret is out. I have written of the horrors that made my childhood a living hell – one that went unnoticed by outsiders who might otherwise have helped me. The pain was inflicted behind closed doors by those who were meant to protect me most and kept so secret that even I was not able to break the silence within my family circle until 16 years ago. Now, through the healing act of writing, I want to tell the world what went on.
This book is written so that I might share the knowledge and discoveries that were revealed as I worked my way through the early years of my life. It is my story of a child who was unappreciated, who experienced the neglect and abandonment of being abused, molested and raped.
An intimate story of feeling lost and unseen in every way while trying to make sense of my world; of soul-searching for many years while encountering abuse and how that abuse remained hidden for so many years.
IN DADDY’S SHED
The second time I was raped was when I was thirteen. I was tricked into going into a shed where Daddy worked. He had fabricated a story I fell for not realising the danger I was in. When I was in the shed I thought I was safe. It was in his place of work and I did not think he would try anything there. The door was also open which made me think I was safe. He made some kind of excuse that he had to go out to get something, and I fell for it, not realising what he was up to. When the door closed I became alarmed. I went over to check the door but he had locked it on his way out. He returned some time later and he raped me. Since then I have had a problem with any locking doors. After that it became a trigger and I developed claustrophobia as a result. I always have to be able to get out of a situation when I need to. I know if anyone got in my way or tried to stop me I would probably end up killing them as a result. If anyone messes around in a way in which they might jokingly catch me, I will react. They better let go of me quickly. It is a real trigger. It is okay now because I know what my triggers are, so it is safe.
I remember that door opening and I was never so relieved in all my life. The shed was situated on the top of a hill. I headed down and can clearly remember the pain of having been raped. I cried silently to myself as I came down from the shed. I went to our car and sat in it waiting to go home. Daddy kept trying to talk to me but I would not answer him. I did not speak for a long time afterwards. He kept driving me mad, asking me things, trying to involve me. I started to avoid going home after that. I always had some excuse not to go home. So much so my sister had gone over to England and got married and I did not know until three weeks after the fact.
The rest of my abuse went on for fourteen more years…..
Price…. € 15.00