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Green, White and Bold

 

By

Jim McKeon

 

ISBN: 978-1-905451-59-3

 

 

Price:   € 10.00

 

 

About the Author

 

Although Jim McKeon has been involved in theatre all his life having appeared in over seventy plays and many musicals, including ‘My fair Lady’ and ‘The King and I’ in the Cork Opera House, he has many more strings to his literary bow.  He writes radio/film scripts, articles for most Irish papers, is a regular contributor to a New York Magazine, and he’s currently working on his eighth book.  He has received world acclaim for his biography of Frank O’Connor.  The New York Times said; ‘This biography of Frank O’Connor is almost as readable as any fiction told by his subject.’  Jim has been a guest lecturer at UCC, had two lecture tours in the USA, received the ILLIAD award from Dartmouth University, nominated for Cork Person of the Year, and the Pride of Cork award.  He is also an award-winning poet and theatre director and has written tem plays, and co-wrote  ‘Mammy’s Boy’ for the Everyman Palace.  He has appeared in twelve films with a range of actors, Sean Connery, George Peppard, Robert Carlisle, Trevor Howard, Jean Simmons, Anthony Hopkins, and recently with Richard Chamberlain, Patrick Bergin, Michael Madsen and Vinny Jones, in Strength and Honour.  For ten years he has toured Ireland with his own one man show, An Only Child, taking in the Yeats’ Festival and the Wexford Opera Festival.  RTE said ‘Jim McKeon had us in the palm of his hand and made us proud to be from Cork.’  He also had his own weekly column on the Evening Echo, appeared on TV many times, The Late Late Show, Kenny Live several times and RTE TV did a show on him and his family.  Similarly on radio he was interviewed in the US, did a BBC documentary, the Mike Murphy Show, Rattle Bag, Pat Kenny Show, many more, and RTE did an hour-long programme on his life.  In his younger days Jim was an avid sportsman winning trophies for fourteen different sports.  He also played League of Ireland football for Cork Celtic for five years , and won a basketball All-Ireland medal with Cork. Yet the one great passion in his life has been Frank O’Connor. O’Connor has been a blazing flame, an inspiration. Against insurmountable odds he rose like a phoenix from the ashes of terrible poverty and deprivation to become one of the world’s literary greats.  Yet without Jim’s single-handed crusade, for the last 25 years, to gain proper recognition for O’Connor in his home town, the world renowned writer may have been swept under Cork’s literary carpet.

 

 

Sample Excerpts

 

An Englishman on holidays in Ireland was using the loo when a Drogheda man, with both hands bandaged, stood at the next urinal and said, “I’m sorry, but could you ever undo my zip and hold me out. As you can see, I’m badly stuck.” The apprehensive Englishman obliged, and when the Drogheda man was finished, he said, “Would you mind please, sir, giving it a little shake and do me up again?” As the Englishman was helping out he noticed a big, purple lump the size of a duck egg on the top of the penis. While he was washing his hands his curiosity got the better of him and he asked, “I say, old chap, forgive me but what is that growth on your penis?” The Drogheda man looked at his bandaged hands and replied, “I don’t know, but until I find out, I’m not going to touch it.”

 

A Dublin man, a Cork man and a Kerry man worked in the Middle East. One night they got drunk and were arrested and given fifty lashes. The rules stated that, if they wished, they were allowed ointment or oil on their backs. The Dublin man said, “I’ll have olive oil, please.” The Cork man was defiant and said, “I can’t stand those Dubs. I’m tough. I want nothing on my back.” Finally the Kerry man was asked what he wanted on his back. He said, “The Cork man.”

 

A man in his fifties, in a town in Mayo, went to the doctor with stress and depression problems. The doctor advised him to relax saying, “Do you drink alcohol?” The man replied, “No. I never touch it.” The doctor said, “There’s no harm in a couple of glasses of wine every night, and a cigarette, and maybe sex once a week to help you relax.” A few months later the patient returned to the doctor feeling much better. He now smoked and had some wine every night. The doctor asked, “And what about sex?” The patient said, “Well, that’s a bit difficult. Only once a month. You see I’m the parish priest in the next village.”

 

Navan teenager: “Mummy, can I wear a bra now? I’m sixteen.”

Mother: “Shut up, Peter.”

 

An out of work musician from Dundalk went along to the Ritz in London looking for a job. The manager said, “You ‘re in luck. Our regular pianist is sick this week. The job is yours if you are a good pianist.” “If you can hum it, I can play it,” he said. “There’s one more thing,” the manager said. “You must wear a dress suit.” The  musician explained that times had been hard and his suit was pretty tatty but it would be ok if the lights were kept dim. All went well. The pianist was brilliant but when he stood up to acknowledge the applause, the manager was horrified. He ran on stage and whispered, “Do you know your balls are hanging out?” He replied, “You hum it, I’ll play it.”

 

It is an accepted fact that Jesus was not an Irish Man.  He fell three times and never claimed.