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About the Book:
Meet the Brannigans—parents Danny and Claire and their six children who live in Dublin. And whose everyday lives encounter shenanigans such as shagging, show-offs, showdowns, shapers, shakers, shots, shocks, surprises and a—shillelagh.
And a shit-head called Paul Ball, a nuisance neighbour who’s always fancied Orla Brannigan, the eldest daughter. And when he gate crashes a family shindig, they quickly…. ‘bounce’ him out. But the family shows solidarity to get rid of a psycho loan shark called Tomas Magee who’s been brutalising Deco, one of the Brannigan boys in ‘The Shenanigans of the Brannigans.’
About the Author:
Hi, thanks for visiting my website. I was born and bred in Raheny in Dublin to Ben and Eileen two amazing parents who gave me the confidence to try new things and not to be afraid of failure. I have two brothers and three sisters. I was educated to leaving certificate and left school in 1983. But my favourite subject was English particularly essays and as a child I enjoyed making up stories and characters.
I started work redecorating an old youth club at the age of 17. I went from job to job and course to course. The most enjoyable course I did was a media studies course which incorporated creative writing and broadcasting. This gave me the training to present shows on various radio stations. I currently present a weekly show on Saturdays from 12 to 2pm on Liffey Sound 96.4 FM. But my day job became security.
However the creative writing part of the course got my creative juices flowing and I had already formed the bases of what is now 'The Shenanigans of the Brannigans'. Last year I adapted the book into five minute plays which were broadcast on Liffey Sound 96.4 FM.
Over the years I have done stand up comedy and used some of the storylines from 'The Shenanigans of the Brannigans' as material.
In 2009 I met Audrey who has enhanced and changed my life in so many positive ways.
Once again thanks for visiting my website and I hope you enjoy reading the excerpts from
Danny was home and lying on the couch. Claire was sitting in the armchair beside him. Ena was sitting on the other armchair and Sarah was playing on the floor.
‘I’ll have t’ go soon, but before I go I brought ya these,’ Ena said lifting a bag off the floor and handing it to Danny.
‘Thanks Ena ya shouldn’t’ve,’ Danny said.
‘Just some clitoris fruits,’ Ena said as Danny pulled citrus fruits from the bag.
‘Thanks again Ena,’ Danny said.
‘Oh your welcome. I’m just glad your alright,’ Ena said looking at her watch.
‘Have ya heard from Hugo?’ Danny asked.
‘Well I got some texts from him but I’m goin’ up t’ Mr. Reids now t’ talk t’ them on the spike,’ Ena said standing up and walking towards the kitchen.
‘Skype,’ Claire said.
‘O.K so don’t let us keep ya. Happy skypin’,’ Claire shouted after her as she left through the kitchen and out the back door.
‘Clitoris fruits,’ Danny said sniggering.
‘That’s nothin’. Aine, Orla’s friend thought you had a vagina not angina.’
‘I know. Just don’t ever let either of them buy me a cocktail,’ Danny said. They both laughed.
‘But they’re not the only one Mr. Invalid,’ Claire said sarcastically.
‘Yeah. Yeah. It’s very quiet for a Sunday afternoon. Where is everyone?’
‘Darren’s upstairs. Greg’s out playin’. Fiona’s gone t’ meet her boyfriend and Declan’s gone t’ meet his girlfriend. Are ya alright about Fiona meetin’ her boyfriend.’
‘Ah yeah. If it gets them outta the house on a Sunday afternoon t’ give us some peace an’ quiet that’s fine by me,’ Danny said resting his head on the pillow behind him and basking in the peace and quiet.
It was short lived. The front door opened and Fiona stormed through it with Stephen.
‘Fiona your home. Are ya alright?’ Claire asked.
‘A dog pissed down me back,’ Fiona said as she stormed up the stairs leaving Stephen standing on his own in the sitting room.
‘Hello,’ he said nervously.
The door opened again and Declan stormed through it with Kim.
‘Wha’ happened you?’ Danny asked noticing the stain between his legs.
‘A dwarf kicked me in the nuts an’ I’m goin’ t’ change me jeans,’ Declan said storming up the stairs leaving Danny and Claire staring bemused at each other and Kim and Stephen shrugging their shoulders.
‘And wha’ about the foot print on yer arse?’ Danny shouted.
‘Ah that was me,’ Kim said nervously.
‘Fair play t’ ya,’ Danny said leaning forward and beckoning Kim towards him and shaking her hand
‘Suppose I was just showin’ him that I’m his ‘sole’ mate,’ Kim said. Danny and Claire laughed.
‘They’re bleedin’ mad kids. Are ya sure they’re ours?’ Danny said looking befuddled. Claire sat shaking her head looking bewildered.
‘Jaysus,’ Danny said in a shocked tone leaning forward in disbelief from his seat on the couch.
’Wha’? What’s up? Are ya alright?’ Claire asked from the opposite end of the couch.
‘Yeah. But look at this bleedin’ bill. Are they tryin’ t’ give me another heart attack. It should say t’ be opened under medical supervision,’ Danny said as Claire moved up one seat beside him and looked at the bill.
‘I thought the Prof part stood for professor not profit,’ he continued.
‘Well that’s the price o’ gettin’ sick these days. Anyway the insurance will cover it,’ Claire said as Greg sat down in the armchair opposite.
‘How are ya feelin’ now da?’
‘Ah I’ll be grand son thanks. Anyway how are ya gettin’ on in school?,’ Danny asked throwing the letter onto the coffee table in front of him.
‘We started Algebra today. What a load o’ feckin’ crap.’
‘That’s the maths with the x’s and’ y’s, isn’t it?’
‘So why was it crap?’
‘Cause the only place letters should be talked about when it comes to anythin’ t’ do with bra’s is cup sizes.’
‘Oh right,‘ Danny said as he and Claire looked at each other. Danny smirked. Greg got a text message.
‘See yis later I’m goin’ over t’ Brian’s,’ Greg said.
‘Right. See ya later son. Don’t be late,’ Claire said as he left the room.
‘Oh like father like son. Cup sizes an’ bras,’ Claire said as Danny laughed.
‘Oh give us a squeeze o’ your cup sizes,’ Danny said rubbing Claire’s breasts.
‘The only cup you’ll be gettin’ is the one on the table when I give ya a whack of it. Your supposed t’ be restin’,’ Claire said laughing.
‘I’ve had loads o’ rest bring on the recreation,’ Danny said kissing Claire’s cleavage.
As Greg went out the front door his Granny Iris Talbot, Claire’s mother was walking up the driveway.
‘Ah granny how’re ya?’
‘Hello Greg. How are you?’
‘I’m great thanks. I’ll be back later. They’re in the sitting room.’
‘Thanks Greg. See you later.’
Iris went into the front door and pushed open the sitting room door as Danny and Claire were rolling around on the couch.
‘Not interruptin’ am I?’ she said.
‘MA!,’ Claire said in a shocked tone buttoning up her blouse.
‘Iris. Well you are actually. If ya could give us a half an hour,’ Danny said sarcastically with a smirk.
‘Greg let me in,’ Iris said.
‘So hello Iris. Are you here t’ keep an eye on me. Get it. Iris, eye.’
‘I hope you’ve no more bathroom surprises for me like makin’ me feel like a lump of jelly with the wall paper powder in the bath,’ Iris said with a frown.
‘Ah ma it was a genuine accident.’
‘Speakin’ of accidents, how are ya feelin’ after yer heart attack Danny?’ Iris asked.
‘Oh a lot better. I’ll be goin’ back t’ work on Monday?’
‘Oh good. But I thought ya had t’ have a heart not a swingin’ brick t’ have a heart attack,’ Iris said laughing. Danny sighed.
‘Come on ma I’ll make us a cup o’ tea,’ Claire said getting up and going towards the sitting room door pushing Iris gently towards it as she did.
‘There’s a joint in the kitchen,’ Danny said.
‘A joint! Wha’ drugs? Are ya tryin’ t’ get me stoned.’
‘It’s a joint o’ meat ma,’ Claire said as they both left the sitting room.
‘Oh a mix up. Imagine tha’,’ Iris said sarcastically.
‘Imagine if it was two thousand years ago an‘ sayin‘ ya wanted t‘ get stoned. That would be a bit more of a painful mix up than paste in the bath,’ Danny said smirking.
Just as Claire and Iris went into the kitchen Orla stuck her head into the sitting room.
‘Hi ya da. Is me ma in?’ Orla asked.
‘Yeah. She’s just gone int’ the kitchen with your granny.’
‘Right thanks. Talk t’ ya later.’
‘O.K sweetheart see ya later. Now maybe I’ll get a chance t’ watch some telly,’ Danny said as he picked up the remote and switched on the television.
Orla went into the kitchen where Claire and Iris were sitting at the kitchen table.
‘I hope he knows I’m only messin’ with him,’ Iris said.
‘After all these years I think he does.’
‘Hi ya ma, granny,’ Orla said taking a seat at the table.
‘Ah Orla. How are ya?’ Iris asked.
‘Are ya O.K?’ Claire asked.
‘No. We had a row.’
‘Come on tell us all about it,’ Claire said.
‘Well we were t’ go out next week but now he tells me we’ve t’ go t’ a talk’ about holdin’ a fireman’s ball,’ Orla said.
‘Jaysus. There‘d be no talkin‘ needed if a fireman wanted me t’ hold his ball for him,’ Iris quipped with a mischievous smile.
‘Ma,’ Claire said.
‘Or a policeman. Or a sailor. Oh yes a sailor,’ Iris said smirking.
‘Granny,’ Orla said as they both looked at her dumbfounded.
‘Oh yeah a sailor,’ Claire said with a smirk.
‘Ma!,’ Orla exclaimed.
‘Does Peter ever bring home his uniform,’ Iris asked.
‘Granny! My God yis are like two bitches in heat. But yeah. But he’s a bollix.’
‘Ah young love,’ Iris said.
‘Did ya get your hair done granny?’ Orla asked trying to change the subject.
‘Yeah I did,’ Iris said patting her curled blue rinse.
‘It’s lovely,’ Orla said smiling.
‘Yeah. But they seem t’ be offerin’ sex an’ stuff now,’ Iris said taking the hairdressers leaflet out of her bag along with crocheted doilies and dropping them on the table.
‘Wha’?!!’ Claire exclaimed.
‘Yeah it says on this “orgasms comma orgy” Iris said with a smirk.
‘Wha’?!! Orla and Claire exclaimed.
‘Yeah it says it on this,’ Iris said pointing to the words.
‘Show me tha’?’ Claire said taking the leaflet and looking at it.
‘See,’ Iris said.
‘Oh my god……….it doesn’t say that at all,’ Claire said sighing.
‘It does so………..,’ Iris insisted.
‘No it doesn’t say “orgasms comma orgy”. It says “organism dot org”. It says its t‘ do with the ingredients in some of their products,’ Claire said frowning as Orla started to laugh.
‘Oh my God!!’ Iris exclaimed with Claire and Orla laughing.
‘They’re lovely crocheted doilies,’ Orla said picking them up.
‘Never mind your fancy French word, it’s ‘croshit’,’ Iris insisted.
‘Croshit,’ Orla exclaimed.
‘Yeah croshit, An’ you can have them an’ take them home with ya,’ Iris said.
‘Ah thanks granny,’ Orla said as the kettle boiled.